The Academy
by ZeeCorge
Summary: While suffering through the Academy Francis bonds with a certain redhead, makes friends with Doofenshmirtz and comes to terms with himself. AU. Monogram/Carl.
1. Chapter 1

This story is an Alternate Universe so characters may be different from the cartoon (mostly their age). I wanted to do something with Monogram going to the Academy, since in the cartoon he seems traumatized by the place. And of course I couldn't resist sticking Carl in it.

This is also my first 'first-person perspective' story. So I hope it doesn't suck.

**_I do not own Phineas and Ferb. Copyrights to Disney._**

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><p>I pleaded with my father all the way to the bus. I didn't understand why I was being forced to go. But father wouldn't hear it. "But I don't want to go to the Academy, Daddy!"<p>

Father shoved my suitcase into my arms before saying "I'm not your father and it's been decided."

I climbed onto the bus and turned around. "I love you, Daddy." His words not sinking in until the bus driver closed the doors in front of me. I walked further onto the bus as I thought about what he said. Not my father? Does that make him my step-dad or was I adopted? Was my mother really my mom?

The bus started moving and the driver yelled at me to sit down. I looked around, there wasn't many open seats, but finally found one next to a short redhead with purple framed glasses. He ignored me, looking out the window, as I sat down.

The trip took forever. Or maybe it was just two hours. It's hard to keep track of time when you're lost in thought. I tried thinking of why I was being sent to 'The Academy for Wayward Boys'. I got good grades in school last year and planned to get a job this summer now that I was old enough. I always did my chores, and never back talked. But father had been avoiding me for weeks, starting shortly after my 15th birthday. When I told him I liked boys. After I told him he got up from his chair without a word and left the room. Then this morning he told me to pack a suitcase. Maybe telling him was a bad idea.

I was brought out of my musing when the bus came to a screeching stop. I looked around confused until I looked past the redhead and out the window. Outside was a imposing fortress. It looked more suited to house murderers and bank robbers than teenage boys. I forcibly swallowed the lump in my throat. I had a bad feeling about this place.

That feeling was made even worse when the doors opened and a large man in a brown military uniform stepped onto the bus. He looked around with a stern glare and the chatter that was constant the whole ride over quickly died away. When he talked it was more of a yell. "Alright boys, I want you to file out and line up outside the bus. No lollygagging and no horseplay!" And with that he left.

I tried to get up but was pushed back down by boys in the back of the bus rushing to get off. When they cleared out I picked up my suitcase and got off, lining up outside. The kid I was sitting with and I were the last ones off the bus.

The same man appeared again with a clipboard. "Time for roll call, sound off!" He looked down at the paper, reading off names. "Buford Van Stomm."

I looked down the line and saw a large boy with short brown hair and a bit of an underbite speak up. "Buford's here."

The man made a check mark and read another name. "Baljeet Raj."

A much smaller Indian boy next to the Buford kid answered timidly. "H-Here."

Another check mark, another name. "Heinz Doofensmith."

A tall teen with messy brown hair and a tired look around his eyes spoke. "Actually, it's Doofenshmirtz."

"Whatever." Was the mans only reply as he moved on down the list.

At this point I stopped paying attention. My eyes wondered around. The building was surrounded by a large brick wall with barbwire along the top. Was that really necessary? Did they really expect us to try escaping? Even the woods around the place looked dreary. The trees looked dead, the grass was an ugly brown and there was no sounds of birds. I could tell the next couple of weeks were going to be miserable.

"FRANCIS MONOGRAM!" My head whipped around, obviously the man had said it a few times without me realizing and resorted to yelling to get my attention.

"S-sorry! I'm here!" I said quickly, fumbling with my suitcase. I could hear some of the other boy's snickering and Buford saying something about me having a girls name.

The man grumbled to himself as he checked my name off and continued on. I forced myself to pay attention so I wouldn't get distracted. "Carl Karl." He called out next.

"Here." The redhead next to me said in a nasally voice.

One last check mark before the man lowered the clipboard. "My name is Sgt. Lee and you will refer to me as Sir. All of you were sent here because you have behavioral problems and I fully intend to whip each and every one of you into well-behaved young men."

Behavioral problems? I was confused, I didn't have any problems. But I'd have to question it later, the man told us to follow him. He lead us inside the building, to a room full of bunk beds. "Get some bed sheets and take a bunk." He pointed to a woman at a desk outside the door.

Everyone lined up and got a bed sheet, blanket and pillow. After getting mine I stepped into the room and looked for a bed. There were a few empty bunks near the back but I didn't want to be alone. Doofenshmirtz had one to himself and I thought about bunking with him until I realized he seemed to be having a heated conversation with himself. Nevermind. I'll leave him alone.

Then I spotted Carl, he didn't look to have a bunkmate yet so I walked over to him. "Mind if I take the top bunk?" I asked as he was putting his sheets on the bottom bed. He just shrugged and I took that as an okay. I shoved my suitcase under the bunk before climbing the small ladder up and began putting sheets on my bed. It wasn't easy, since I had to sit on the bed while doing it.

When I was done it was a little ruffled, but I was never good at making my bed. I laid down and hung my head over the edge to look down at the redhead. He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, reading a book I guess he got from his suitcase. I felt the need to make some conversation. "What kind of name is Carl Karl? Couldn't your parents think of a different first name from your last name?" I wasn't trying to be insulting, it was just the first thing to come to mind.

He looked up from his book and countered with, "What kind of name is Francis Monogram? Couldn't your parents think of a boys name?" He said it with a smile so I know he wasn't trying to be hurtful like most people.

"Touché." I muttered. "Man, when I get older I'm getting my name changed."

Buford spoke up from across the room, where he had the Indian boy in a headlock. "Yeah, you can change it to Mary!"

I rolled my eyes. "No thanks." I was going to change my name to something cool. Something no one would make fun of or mistake for a girls name, like Nitro, Dax or Steel. I turned my attention back to Carl. He was reading again. I wondered why he was here. He looked like a nerd. What could he have done wrong? Then again, I still wondered what I had done.

Before I could ask him a middle-aged woman came to the doorway and yelled out "Dinner time!" Dinner? Was it that late? I looked out the window close to my bunk and saw that the sun was setting. Wow, time really does fly. I hoped the rest of the time here would go by as fast, though I doubted it.

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><p>Reviews would be lovely.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Next chapter! Little longer too!

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><p>I watched in horror as grayish-brown slop was dumped onto my tray. Did they actually expect us to eat this stuff? I was pushed further down the line to collect a dinner roll and a small container of milk.<p>

After getting my meager dinner I left the line and turned to look around the tables. There were a lot of boys, more than had been on the bus, I wondered just how many had been forcibly sent to the Academy. Most of the tables were packed, except for one in the far corner of the room. Only Heinz and Carl were seated there so I decided to join them. I'm sure it was the table for people labeled 'losers' but I didn't mind, I'd rather be around them than sit at an overcrowded table.

I took a seat on the opposite side of the table from them and stared at my tray in sickened-wonder. What was this stuff? Or what had it been at one point? "I guess this is what prison food looks like." I commented gravely, poking the substance with a spoon but not daring to eat it.

"I doubt even prison food is this bad." Carl replied as he looked at his tray warily. As if he was afraid it'd attack him at any moment… It just might.

"It kinda looks like my moms cooking." Heinz commented before shoving a spoonful into his mouth. Both Carl and I watched, waiting to see if he'd kill over. His face blanched as he swallowed. "Ugh, tastes like her cooking too." Despite the negative review he continued eating.

Everyone lapsed into silence for awhile. Carl and I pushed our trays away and ate our dinner rolls. If every meal was going to be this bad then I was going to starve to death here. I couldn't survive on rolls and milk.

"So…" Heinz drawled after eating most of the food… If you could even call it that. How could he even stomach that? Years of practice with his mothers cooking? "What are you guys here for?"

Carl perked up and stopped nibbling on his roll to look at me. I guess I had to answer first. I still wasn't sure why I was here but I had a good idea. I wasn't stupid, I knew lots of people were against homosexuality, I just didn't think my own father would reject me. But now I wasn't even sure if he was my father… "I don't want to talk about it." I said, looking away. I didn't want to risk losing my only possible friends here.

They both seemed to accept that and we turned our attention to Carl. He looked guilty and shrugged. I could tell he knew exactly why he was here but didn't want to talk about it. I couldn't really call him out on it since I'd done the same thing so I looked to Heinz. "What about you?"

He looked around nervously and I thought for a moment he wasn't going to say anything. "My parents think I'm crazy. It was either come here or go to a mental institution." He shrugged.

Carl and I exchanged glances. "Why do your parents think you're crazy?" Carl asked.

"Oh, well…" He scratched the back of his head and looked around, making sure no one else was paying attention. "I'm being stalked… By a Platypus. His name is Perry and he wears a fedora."

I had to bite my tongue pretty hard to keep from laughing. It was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard of. Why would a Platypus want to stalk anyone?

I guess I wasn't disguising my amusement as well as I hoped because Heinz continued. "It's okay to laugh, everybody else does." He sighed. "No one believes me because every time I try to show them he disappears. So they think I'm imagining it… Maybe I am."

"It's okay, I believe you." Carl replied. I don't know if he really did or if he was just saying that to make Heinz feel better but it made the teen smile regardless.

Sgt. Lee reappeared and spoke-yelled again. "Dinners over! Time to get ready for bed! Follow me to the bathrooms!" He left the room quickly and everyone scrambled to follow. It turns out the bathroom was a large room next to our bedroom, with several sinks and lots of stalls. I could see an adjoining room with lockers and showers. Thankfully each shower was in a separate stall. I never felt comfortable showing after Gym… For several reasons.

I quickly went to my bunk and pulled out my suitcase. I grabbed a change of clothes and my toothbrush. The bathroom was crowded so I changed into a pair of sweatpants and an old green t-shirt in a shower stall. I waited awhile for the bathroom to clear out a bit before trying to get to a sink to brush my teeth.

I finished just in time to re-enter the sleeping room as Sgt. Lee informed us that lights-out was in 10 minutes. It couldn't have been any later than 8 P.M. but I had a feeling we'd be woken up rather early too. Oh joy.

I made my way to my bunk but stopped short. Were those… Dancing coconuts on Carl's pajama bottoms? I chuckled quietly to myself as I sidestepped him, he was on the floor digging through his suitcase for something, and climbed the ladder up to my bed. I flopped face-first into my pillow and listened to the sounds of Carl and the other boy's getting ready for bed. Finally I heard him climbing into the bunk below me and felt the whole frame shake slightly from the motion.

Once Carl was settled he said "Good night." I assumed he was talking to me.

"'Night." I mumbled out from around my pillow.

After a few minutes the lights turned off without warning and the room slowly quieted down. I fell asleep after laying there for a long time, having trouble relaxing in a strange place for the first time.

-Z-

I was jolted awake at the sound of a horn blaring and Sgt. Lee ordering everyone to get up. I slowly stumbled down the ladder and nearly fell on Carl. I mumbled an apology and moved away from him, looking out the window. The sky was red but the sun wasn't up yet. I'd never gotten up before sunrise before.

Thankfully we were given scrambled eggs and two pieces of bacon this morning. I wasn't a fan of bacon but I was too hungry to care and quickly scarfed down every piece of food on my tray. When I was finished I looked around the room and noticed Heinz was looking around suspiciously. Keeping an eye out for Perry, I guess. Every time my eyes followed his there was nothing out of the ordinary. I shrugged and watched the sun rise outside the windows, waiting for breakfast to end.

After getting dressed and brushing my teeth we were ordered to go to the exercise yard. The exercise yard looked like the training courses you see people in the Army use. There were tires to run through, a large wooden wall with ropes hanging down to climb over, a rope over a mud pit to swing across, muddy ground with a barbwire net to crawl under and much more. I was stunned. They weren't really going to make us run this, right? Don't get me wrong, I'm not a weakling, I got good grades in Gym but this seemed a bit much. Especially the barbwire. And what was up with everything being covered in mud? It hadn't rained recently and you'd think mud would only slow us down…. Err, maybe that was the point?

To my dismay Sgt. Lee told everyone to line-up at a white line in the grass, right before the ground turned to mud. He told us we'd have to run the course until we got a good time. I, along with several others, groaned. Wasn't running it once wasn't enough?

With the blow of a whistle everyone ran off as fast as they could. I was somewhere in the middle of the group, until my foot got caught in a tire and I tripped. I picked myself up and kept going. It took my awhile to climb over the wall because the ropes were slippery from mud and I kept sliding down. I probably crawled slower than a snail under the barbwire net.

I did, thankfully, fairly well on the rest of the course. It looped around back to the starting line and I stopped next to the Sergeant. "How'd… I do?" I asked between heaving breaths. I may not a weakling, but I'm not an athlete either.

"That was pathetic." He said harshly. "Run it again."

I groaned before taking a few deep breathes and running off. It seemed like I did better the second time but to my misfortune Sgt. Lee told me to run the course again! Just what time did I need to get so I could stop?

I managed to run through the tires without falling but had even more trouble with the wall. I was getting tired. When I got to the top I took a moment to catch my breath again and look around. I felt slightly better when I noticed other boys were having problems too. Heinz had gotten his foot tangled, somehow, on the rope over the pit and was now just hanging upside down with his upper body in the mud. Buford was dragging the little Indian boy along. Whether Buford was trying to help or not was up for debate.

I heard other boy's begin to climb the wall but I ignored them, looking around for Carl. I spotted him under the barbwire net, trying to free his once-white shirt from the wire. He was glaring at the net as he tugged with all his might, I found it oddly cute and smirked. But the smirk was quickly replaced with a fearful yelp as I felt myself being roughly pushed off the wall by someone. "Move it, loser!" Whoever it was called.

I met the ground painfully and laid there in a daze for a moment before daring to get up. As I lifted up to my hands and knees I saw the boy's who had been on the wall jump down and run off, looking back to laugh at me. As my head cleared I became aware of a warm, wet feeling on my temple. I knew it wasn't mud, mud felt cold. So I tentatively raised my hand up to feel the spot and instantly pulled it away when I felt pain. To my horror I saw blood on my hand. It wasn't a lot, but more than what a little scratch would produce.

Before I could even think about asking to see a nurse I heard the Sergeant yelling at me to get up and keep running. I slowly got to my feet and waited for the last bit of dizziness to clear before I continued on with the course. I helped Carl and Heinz get free as I passed them.

It was at least another three hours before we were told we could hit the showers and rest in our room until lunch time. By then my head was throbbing, I was sure mud had gotten into the cut and hoped it wouldn't get infected.

I quickly grabbed a clean set of clothes from my suitcase before heading to the showers. I kept my head down, focusing on the tiles like they were the more interesting thing in the world. Which they weren't, but I pretended they were so I wouldn't be tempted to look around at the other boys. I didn't want to look, but a small part of me was just curious. I knew it was wrong and doing so would risk getting caught and pummeled.

I went into the first shower stall available, placing my clean clothes on the floor outside and closed the curtain. I threw my dirty clothes out before turning on the water. It was cold at first but slowly turned warm. It felt so good, except on my head. The warm water made the wound burn but I forced myself to take the pain. I had to clean it out.

After I was done I got dressed and put my dirty clothes into a large clothes bin sitting next to the entrance to the regular bathroom. I don't know how they'd know whose clothes belonged to who but I really didn't care. Passing Heinz on the way out I heard him complaining to himself, or maybe he was talking to Perry. Either way I didn't pay much mind as I continued on to my bunk. I wanted to pass out and not be bothered until it was time to leave this infernal place, but before I could make it to the ladder Carl grabbed a hold of my arm and pulled me down onto his bed.

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><p>Is Perry really stalking Heinz or is it all in his head? I'll let you decide.<p>

Reviews would make me a happy camper... You know, if I ever went camping. I'd also like your opinion on Buford and Baljeet. Should I make them a side story couple or just unlikely friends?


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